OMG! HE IS A SHE!
by Xover-girl
Summary: Riku is trying to get along with his new life since he had his first son. Warning, KH2 spoilers. As usual, no flames. Complete!
1. He's a she!

Forgive me for doing this but I got bored. This isn't for little kids. It could be really disgusting. I do not own KH or Kids next door. I just say an episode of kids next door when girls take over the world and got this idea. This is not Yaoi. I repeat, not Yaoi.

Sora went to the beach and found something dug under the sand. It looked like a pink gun. Sora thought that it was just a toy so he brought it to the hide-out.

(KHD world)

"Numbah five! What happened ray?" Numbah one said.

"A vortex sucked it." Numbahfive said.

"To where?" Numbah one asked.

"Who knows and who cares?" Numbah four said.

(Destiny Island)

"Sora, what's that?" Kairi asked.

"It's some kind of toy. Like a ray." Sora said while holding it.

"How do you know it's a toy?" Riku asked.

"Because it's pink. Who would make something with pink?" Sora said.

"Makes sense." Riku said.

"Let's just see if it really does nothing." Kairi said. Sora pulled the trigger but it ended up that it shot a beam but it starts to bounce everywhere in the hide-out Kairi ducks, Sora jumps, Riku gets out of the way so it wouldn't hit them but Riku got in a bad position. The ray hits Riku that he goes unconscious.

"OMG!" Kairi shouted.

"What happened to him?" Sora said.

"He's… he's not a…. he…" Kairi couldn't finish.

(Later)

Riku slowly wakes up in Sora's room. He noticed that he was in his bed. He rubbed his head and slowly stand up. He felt different. "Wha… what happened." He said with a different voice. He covered his mouth when he heard himself. His voice didn't sound normal. "WTF!" He thought.

"Oh… Riku… your awake." Kairi said in a nervous tone.

"Kairi, Sora… I think I'm sick." He said while whispering.

"Something happened when the ray hit you." Sora said in a worried tone.

"What?"

"Look at yourself." He then starts to look at himself. He first looks at his arms. He didn't have the muscles. He felt thinner and there was one only place to look at. He walked to the mirror and then gasped. He now realized that he's was no longer a he. He was a she! She had curves in her body, thin legs and breast. He or she then starts to shriek like a girl. "What did you do!"

"Well-"

"I did not want this!" She shouted while making a really sexy position.

"I think that ray was a girlyfier ray." Sora said.

"A GIRLYFIER RAY!"

"Well nice going, Sora. You turned Riku into a girl." Kairi said.

"How was I suppose to know that it was a girlyfier ray?" Sora asked.

"USE COMMON SENSE!" Kairi shouted.

"Is there something to reverse the process?" Riku said scared.

"I don't know." Kairi said.

"You don't know! How come you don't know!"

"I just found it!" Sora said.

"I'll kill you!" She gets her soul eater and aimed it at Sora. That was until her baggy pants fell down just showing his or her boxers. She grabbed and lift it up. "Hahahahahahah!" Sora laughed.

"Oh, wait till I-!"

"No, Riku! Don't! You can't punch guys like that! It's what they expect." Kairi said.

"Expect?" She asked.

"We need you to get out from those clothes." Kairi said. "You know what this means?"

"What?"

"Shopping!" She said.

"Shopping?" Riku said disturbed.

"Yep, the best place to get clothes. The mall!" Kairi said.

"Oh, no! You have gotta get me back to normal." Riku said.

"The ray is damaged." Sora said.

"I'M GONNA STAY LIKE THIS FOREVER!" Riku paniced.

"Possibly. Cid is fixing it up to reverse the process, that's if it works."

"WAAAAAAAAAA!" She cried.

"You cry like a girl." Sora said.

"Sora… he is a girl." Kairi said.

"Oh... should we calm him from now on a she?" He asked.

"Sigh... yes." Kairi said disturbed.

TBC

If you don't like it, don't review. I'm not really doing this for credit.


	2. How to act like a girl

After Kairi showed Riku how to shop, they went back home. Sora felt tortured on carrying the bags and Riku still didn't like shopping. "Is this helping?"

"You need the right clothes. But you can't always by jean pants and yellow shirts or different types." Kairi said.

"But they're my favorite."

"…This may take a while."

"And why am I suddenly have the feeling to cry?" Riku said while sobbing.

"Those are your hormones."

"Hormones? You mean female hormones?"

"Yep, you get moody like when you threw that Burrito at Sora when he kept on teasing that you where a girl. The Jalapenos got in his eyes." Kairi said.

"They… still… burn." Sora said.

"You deserve it." Riku said.

"And you can't go out in public without a bra." She said.

"Why?"

"You darn well know why."

"Oh yes because-"

"AHH! EYE'S BURNING!" Sora said.

"Sora, shut up." They both said.

"Just try these clothes." Kairi said.

"Pink?"

"Isn't it wonderful?"

"Like huzzah." Riku said sarcastically.

"We're gonna have a party soon. Wanna come?"

"No way!"

"Oh, come one."

"No!"

"It's not like someone will know it's you." Kairi said. Then there was a huge explosion and there was a big hole in Sora's room. Then Ansem appears.

"Ansem!"

"Sora."

"Ansem!"

"Rik-" Ansem tried to hold his laugh until he started rolling on the floor laughing badly. "Buahahahahahahahaahha! LOLOLOLO! LMAO! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!" He said.

"Shut up!"

"YOU'RE A GIRL!" Ansem shouted.

"Oh, I'm gonna kill you!"

"And I was planning to enslave you again but since you're a girl I…."

"You will not enslave me?"

"No, I'll make you my maid."

"OMFG! That tore it! Now Riku is sure to go ballistic." Said a fearful Sora. Riku then went into a rage that he- I mean she went dark and attack Ansem with rage.

"Wow, with the skin tight suit, she looks good." Sora said.

"Sora, note to self: Riku is normally a guy." Kairi said.

"…." He slaps himself in the face. "Stop thinking dirty thoughts, stop thinking dirty thoughts." He said. Ansem retreat because Riku was too much for him.

"I… was beaten… by a girl." He said.

"You diserve it!" She said.

"Okay, Riku. Now it's time to learn how to walk like a girl."

"….no."

"And with high heals." Kairi said.

"No." Riku said.

"Don't be a party pooper." She said.

"This isn't a party."

"Whatever." She said. So they went outside to practice.

"Okay, you start by-" Kairi couldn't continue when she heard a wolf whistle. "Oh, thank you."

"I don't mean you. I mean the silver haired girl."

"Me?" Riku asked.

"Hey, chick, wanna go out somewhere?" The man said while putting his arms on her.

"No and get your hands of my shoulders buster." She said. She then grabbed his arm and threw him to the ground.

"Riku." Kairi said in a serious tone.

"Hey, he was asking for it."


	3. Diet time

Thank you guys for the reviews. This is gonna be short but I may update tomorrow. Just so you'd know, I took modeling classes and I didn't like it.

* * *

"I'm leaving!" Riku said. She walked away while hunching.

"Riku, you can't go hunching like that, it's so unlady like." Kairi said.

"Well I don't want to be a lady."

"I'll teach you how to model."

"No way."

"heheheheheh!" Sora giggled. That got Riku mad that she got a coconut and threw it at Sora knocking him out. "Take that!"

"Now try the high heel shoes." Kairi said.

"No."

"Put them on before I get a picture of you as a girl and put it in the year book."

"Okay, okay… give em to me." Riku said. She puts on some red high heel shoes. She then gets up and tries to walk on them but she ends up falling on the floor. "This is not helping." She said.

"It's because your doing it the wrong way. Let me show you."

(Five hours later)

"And that's how you do it. Got it?" Kairi asked.

"Zzzzzzzz uh what? Yeah. Yeah! I'm hungry." Riku said while whipping her drool.

"Let's go to McDonalds." Sora said. "Yaaaaayyy happy meal!"

"I can't believe you still take that." Kairi said.

(McDonalds)

"I would like to have Mc nuggets and soda and put a bunch of salt on the fries." Riku said.

"Riku!"

"What Kairi?"

"You can't eat all those junk. You'll get fat."

"But I'm hungry."

"Ms. Just give her a salad."

"Okay."

"Salad?" Riku asked disturbed.

"And yogurt and water." Kairi said.

"That's all?" Riku asked.

"It's for the best to stay in shape."

"I hate being a girl." She said.

"And give me a happy meal!" Sora said.

"For your age?" The lady in the counter asked.

"Do not judge a person by his age and give me one of those Mckey toys." Sora said.

"ooookay."

"Yay, toy!" Sora said.

(Riku's house)

"I can't go back home! Mom doesn't know about this!"

"She does and so those your dad." Sora said.

"Dang!"

"Are you leaving?" Kairi asked.

"Yes!" Riku said.

"Hey, look! I got a mickey plushy!" Sora shouted with joy.

"Nice, Sora." Kairi said while being annoyed. "Well then tomorrow I'll show you how to dance."

"Forgive me Kairi but… I'M TIRED OF YOU TEACHING ME HOW TO BE A GIRL!"

"But you're a girl now."

"I'm staying home tomorrow."

"Oh, come on. It'll be fun." Kairi said.

"No!" Riku said. She walks back to her home.

"Okay, so I need to get another person to boss around." Kairi said. She looks at Sora who was putting too much ketchup on his fries. "Oh, Sora."

"I know what your up to. Bye." He zooms back to his home.

"Okay… I'm all alone." She said. She sees Sephie. "Oh, Hi Sephie. Watcha doing?"

"I'm gonna share a paopu fruit with Tidus."

"What?"

"Gotta go."

(Riku's house)

"I'm home."

"Hiya, sonny or girly." Her dad joked.

"Dad! You know!"

"I just can say that that ray did too much on you. I boy could easily ask you on a date."

"That happened." Riku said.

"Um… Riku?" Her mom called. She tried to hold her laughter. "Um… hehe, could you… hehe… get another clothes? They… hehe… reveal to much."

"I'm going to bed." She said. She goes to her room and then hears her parents loling like crazy. (It's a new word. It means laughing out loud.) She goes to bed and then starts to dream. She was still a girl but she was at a doctors office.

"Doctor?" She asked.

"Ms. Johnosn?" He called. (That's Riku's last name)

"What?"

"I need to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"Your gonna be a mom."

"….AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" She screams. But then she wakes up realizing that it was a dream. "Oh, just a dream… a friggin dream. Now I'm worried." She said. She looked at the window which was open. She got up and closed it and then closed the door of her room. "Good." She is still worried if she's not gonna turn back into a boy but now she's worried about something else. Like getting pregnant.


	4. Date time

This might be boring and here's a warning. It's crazy. Read it on the end of the chapter

* * *

"Sleep well, Riku?"

"No, mom." She said.

"Ah, well let's have some oatmeal."

"I don't like oatmeal." She said. "I'm gonna go to burger king and have breakfast."

"But-"

"No buts! Xover-girl can even have junk food!"

"It's because the author adds veggies."

"I could do that! But Kairi said it will make your body feel terrible!"

"She likes to boss people."

"And ya think that I didn't know?" Riku asked.

"A boy came to my house. He wants to go on a date with you."

"No way!" Riku said.

"He thinks that you're your sister."

"What?"

"Okay, let me make this clear. He thinks that your Riku's sister."

"Oh, no."

"And if you don't go, he'll kill if he finds you in your boy form."

"Well he's gonna kill me when he discovers that he's kissing a girl that was a boy." Riku said. "I need supervision."

"Sora said that he can do it."

"Good…" Riku leaves his house and then starts to walk. "What now?"

(Mall)

Riku went to a video game store to check on some new video games. "What kind of sexy girl, goes to a game store." A guy asked. Riku then got upset. She grabbed the man and then threw him away that he hit a wall. "A girl can do anything she wants! Even check boy stuff!"

"YOU GO GIRL!" Shouted the author.

"I'm normally a guy!" She shouted.

"Hey, baby." Said a guy.

"And you are?"

"Jack… you've seen me at school, haven't you?"

"Uhh… no." She lied.

"Your mom gave me permition to go on a date with you."

"How did you find my house?"

"You're the sister of Johnson… right?"

"Uh… yes?" She lied again.

"Well then come with me instead of living with that jerk."

"JERK!" Riku shouted. Jack didn't even know that he was talking to Riku.

"It's pretty interesting that you almost have the exact name of that guy except that you have two K's."

"Rikku? (Thinking: The name from that dumb blond that stole my name)" (Thank you for the idea Guardian Angel21)

"Meet me in McDonalds for our date."

"…Okay." She said.

(Home)

"Mom! I have to go on a date!"

"Your loss. You know how to defend yourself… Right?"

"Yeah but I can't go on a date!"

"Just get it over with it."

(McDonalds)

She was eating a big mac around night time while that other guy was right beside her putting his arms on her shoulder. "What are you doing?"

"Just… getting close to you." He said.

"You really don't wanna see me when I'm angry. Your really don't like it when I get angry." She said.

"Is that so bad?" He said while getting close to her.

"What are you doing?" She said. While that happens, Sora was hiding in the fake pushes that where inside McDonalds. He got binoculars and camouflage make up while talking in a waky talky. "This is sky boy to sea girl… can you hear me, over?"

"Sora… I'm right beside you."

"Oh, yeah. That guy is getting close to Riku. What should we do?"

"Take action?"

"No, or we'll never come back again."

"What should we do? Just wait here till she leaves?"

"Yes. Uh oh!"

"What!"

"He's gonna do the code: pucker up!"

Riku was about to stop the guy from kissing her but it was too late. He put his lips on hers. That's when she got so angry that she became the she-hulk! Na just kidding! That slapping him, she punched him right in the face and then hits him on the head knocking him out like a light! He had a big bump in his head. "That's what you get!" She shouted. "That's it! I'm no longer going on a date with a guy!" She said while starting to leave the fast food. "Riku! Wait!"

"What, Kairi? I'm going home!"

"But you can't go home! It's not safe to walk around the city at night."

"I can handle myself, okay? Bye!"

"No! Riku! I'm serious! There could be people that can-"

"LALALALALAALALALALAL! I'm not listening!"

"Rik- grrrrrrr! Aagggg! Forget it! But don't come back to me if something happens to you." Kairi shouted.

"Ohhh, look a Minnie plushy!" Shouted Sora while walking to Kairi but she punches him in the face.

(Back to Riku)

"I knew I should have brought my car! If I did I would have to walk in this dumb city." She said. But then she heard some foot steps that sounded that it came from right behind her. She looks back to see who it was but she saw nothing. She kept on running but then she hears the foot steps again. She started to run faster until a man grabbed her and he wouldn't let go. "Let go of me!" She shouted.

(Sora's house)

"Hey, Cid made the ray gun to reverse the process." Sora said.

"Ha, like if I would care. I'm sure Riku will be coming here slamming at the door and then begging for us to turn her into a boy again." Kairi said. Then they heard a loud banging sound from Sora's door. He opened it and say Riku beat up pretty badly. "YOU'VE GOTTA CHANGE ME BACK!"

"I told you." Kairi said.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! IT WAS SO HORRIBLE!"

"Like I said."

"I WANNA BE A GUY AGAIN!"

"Uh, Riku?"

"I'M TRAMATIZED!"

"Uh, Riku?"

"I'LL NEVER GO TO PUBLIC AGAIN!"

"RIKU!"

"Wahahahahahahahaah!" She cried.

"Cid fixed the ray."

"Good, change me back!" She shouted. Sora aimed the ray at Riku and zapped her. She was now a guy again. He jumped in joy and happiness because he was a male again. "I'm a boy!"

"Riku? Take of the girl clothes." Sora said.

"Yes, I got a picture for the school picture!" kairi said.

"Give me that!" Riku shouted.

(School)

"Hiya, Riku… you okay?"

"I just feel sick."

* * *

End chapter.

Warning: What you read may give you a clue on what's gonna happen to Riku. I warn you, it is not pretty and don't blame me. You read the later chapters of your own free will. Like I said. I was bored. Rating may change. Not suitable for little kids. Defies the laws of chemistry. Completely disgusting. I may get a flame for this. I warned you. Even though I'm very sensitive.

I warned you.


	5. Doctor time Too much time

I told you that I warned you.

* * *

"What do you mean that your sick?" Sora asked.

"I have nausea." He said.

"You should check the doctor."

"Sora, this whole girly stuff happened three weeks ago. I'm starting to feel weird."

"Cid said that there's a side effect on the ray. It must be that and it could take a while."

"I see."

"JOHNSON!" Jack shouted.

"Busted." Sora said.

"Your sister knocked me down and I can't find her. I'm gonna take it out on you!" Jack said while grabbing him.

"I have no friggin sister!"

"Then who was that girl that I saw a few weeks ago?"

"A relative! She moved out!" Riku said.

"Ya see this?" Jack shows Riku his fist.

"Look, I can't fight you! I'm sick!"

"Sick of what!"

"Sick with- Huuaaa!" Riku barfed on Jack.

"Uh oh." Sora said.

"JOHNSON! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

"That's enough!" Shouted the principal. "What's going on?"

"Jack wanted to punch Riku for no reason but Riku was sick that he barfed."

"Oh, I see…. Johnson, go to the school nurse."

"Okay, prin- HUUAA!"

"Be careful! This is a new shirt." The principal panic.

(Home)

Riku's mom was making a cake in her house till she sees Riku walking in sick. "Riku?"

"The school nurse made me come back. I'm sick."

"You've been barfing?"

"Yes, five times."

"That's not normal. Go to bed." She said. Riku went to his room and then fell asleep. He then starts to dream again that he was in a hospital. A doctor was holding something. "What's that, doc?"

"You're a father."

"What? Who's the mother?"

"…You."

"WHAT!" Riku then wakes up screaming from the dream. Now he got worried. "Okay, there's nothing to worry about. I'm fine." He said. He went back to sleep again and started to dream. He was with Sora and Kairi till he heard them saying. "Uh, Riku? Did you gain a little weight?" They asked.

"What?"

"When we checked how much you weight you gained… five pounds."

"FIVE POUNDS!" He then wakes up again. "I can't take it anymore!" He gets of his bed but he realized that there was no floor that he was falling on a bottomless pit to nowhere falling and falling and falling. "AHHHHH!" He screamed. But he then wakes up and realized that he was on the floor while being covered with his blanket. "Riku?" His dad called.

"I'm fine… just fine."

"This is the twentieth time that you've been screaming in your dream. I think your coming down with a sickness."

"Ya think?" He asked.

"Or maybe even worst. I'm taking you to the doctor."

(Doctor's office)

"Mr. Riku D. Johnson?" The doctor called."That's me."

"Come in."

"Okay, doc."

"So what have you've been experiencing?"

"I feel dizzy, I'm barfing, I'm having these weird dreams."

"What kind of dreams?"

"… I don't wanna talk about it."

"Okay, let me just take a blood sample and then give you and X-ray."

"…Okay."

(Later)

"So… doc. Am I okay?" Riku asked.

"OMG! THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! IT DEFIES ALL THE LAWS OF CHEMISTRY!"

"What! What is it?"

"You're just too young! How can this be? But you're a guy!"

"What is it doc!" Riku asked scared. Then the doctor went coocoo that he started to jump around the office. Riku grabs him. "Keep it together! What's wrong with me!"

"…."

(Outside)

"I'M WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!

TBC

Take a guess. I warned you. I'm soon gonna have my very own email address. The other one was just my brothers email address.


	6. Ansems evil plan

I'm back! And witha new chapter! Gracias for the reviews.

Sora: Is that thank you in spanish?

Kairi: (sarcastically) No, it's pizza.

Sora: But you say pizza even in spanish.

Kairi: Don't you know sarcasm when you hear it?

* * *

(One month later)

"Hey Sora, after school, let's check on Riku."

"I hope he's okay." Sora said. After the school bell rang they left the high school and went to Riku's house. Sora knocked on his door and Riku's dad came out. "Sora?"

"Riku home?"

"Yes but… he's not in the mood. Now he has this obsession wanting caffeine."

"Something happened?" Kairi asked.

"You may not wanna know." His dad said.

"But we wanna help him."

"Okay but I'm warning you, it won't be pretty." He said. Sora and Kairi went inside and then went to the kitchen. Then they gasped on what they saw that they dropped there books. They saw Riku sitting on the table with his hair messed up. He had those black marks that where under his eyes, he looked to tired and he was wearing a robe while drinking coffee. "What happened to you!"

"What happened to me? I became a freak."

"What?" Kairi asked.

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"What did the doctors say?" Kairi asked.

"Those good for nothing doctors! I told you they where dangerous! I'm gonna take them down!" Sora said while getting a torch and a shovel. "I want an angry mob!" Sora said. He left to hunt down the doctor.

"Sora… he did nothing. He just discovered something that was happening to me." Riku said.

"Then what did he say?" Sora asked.

"Remember that Kairi warned me on not going alone at night?... There was this guy who… raped me while I was a girl."

"I told you."

"And I've should have listened to you! Something was happening in my body before I changed back into a guy."

"What happened?"

"I'm… I can't say it!"

"What is it!"

"I'm…. p……"

"Spit it out man!"

"I'm pregnant."

"Oh." Kairi said. But then Sora screams like a girl and starts to run away from the house.

"HE IS A FREAK!"

"Sora! You're not helping!"

"I am a freak!"

"Hey, calm down Riku. I'm sure that we can find a way." Kairi said.

"You can't find a way! I got pregnant before I turned back into a boy. Even though I turned back, the… feeling was still there!"

"Feeling?"

"I just don't wanna say that word."

"You mean the-"

"Too much info!" Riku shouted.

"Well, Riku look, you can't stay in your house drinking coffee all the time."

"I can and I will!"

"You know what I would do?"

"What Sora?"

"Get back on that man."

"He killed himself. There was a report that he did suicide."

"I think it was because he discovered that you where a guy." Sora said.

"Psychological experts say that it's that too."

"Need any help?" Kairi asked.

"No so if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone." He said. When Sora and Kairi left, Riku's mom came downstairs and walked to him. She had this weird smile in her face like if she's hiding something.

"So, how are you doing honey?"

"Why are you so cheerful?"

"Nothing."

"Why did this happen to me? Why? Why?"

"Well… look on the bright side. At least you're the first human male to ever have a child."

"Mom… you're not helping!" Riku said while starting to sob.

"Oops, silly me."

"You're hiding something."

"The doctor said that there could be a possibility that you could…"

"What?"

"…. Die?"

"Die?"

"Well lets just talk about something else."

"Why are you still so happy –"

"DON'T LOSE HOPE, SON!" She shouted while grabbing him.

"Ooookay. But I'm a freak!" Riku shouted. Two month later (Three month in total) Riku got the courage to go outside in public. (No, he's not fat… yet) He only had a long sleeve sweat shirts so it would hide the weight that he's getting. He went to the pizzeria with Leon, Yuffie, Aerith, Tidus, Wakka, Sephie, Sora and Kairi. While they where having pizza they where trying to stay cool on what is wrong with Riku. The others discovered his problem last month. Cid couldn't stop laughing that he was sent to the hospital.

"Pizza time!" Wakka shouted. "this is the best pizza that there is, eh man!" (I don't know how to speak wakka)

"Hey, Riku, you wanna eat?"

"I am kinda hungry.

(Later)

Kinda more like a bunch. He just ate five pizzas in just ten minutes. Leon tried to keep himself from laughing but he couldn't. He started to laugh so loud that he was sent to the hospital too. "Okay, there goes Cid and Leon." Yuffie said. Then out of no where, Ansem appears.

"Ansem!" Everyone shouted.

"Well Riku isn't a girl anymore? That's too bad. I wanted to get a picture of you so I can't send it to the multi world wide web. Anyway, think fast!" He throws a stink bomb at them.

"OMG! THAT STINKS! Yuffie cried.

"Smell… horrible!" Aerith gasped.

"BY DOSE!" Wakka shouted while holding his nose.

"I'm dying!" Tidus said.

"ROTTEN EGGS!" Sephie shouted.

"You won't get away from this you-" Sora went out like a light. Everyone was knocked down.

"What… what happened?" Sora asked. He realized that he and the gang was trapped in a prison cell but Riku wasn't around.

"Riku?"

"He's gone." Kairi said.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY! WHY HIM! WHYYYYYYYY!" Sora sobbed.

"Sora, he's gone as in Ansem took him somewhere." Kairi said while being annoyed.

"Oh…"

* * *

"Let me go! Let me go!" Riku said while being tied up in a chair. There was a big ray gun in front of him.

"Don't move Riku! I'm gonna turn you to a girl again to embarrass you again."

"No! Don't turn me into a girl, I have suffered enough when I discovered that I was pregnant and- oh crap!"

"Pregnant!...Even better!"

"I should have kept my mouth shut." Riku said.

"Okay, this whole plan is getting even better." Ansem said.

"What are you gonna do?"

"I'm thinking." Ansem said. Riku fell with his chair in anime style. He looked at a book that said "How to embarrass a person volume ten." He closes the book and goes to Riku. "You need to give me a while."

"Hey, this place is dusty and… Achoo!" Riku sneezed out a dark firaga almost hitting Ansem.

"Hey, be careful with that!" Ansem growled.

* * *

(Back to the others)

"We gotta save Riku!" Sora shouted.

"But how?" Tidus asked.

"um… digging underground.? Wakka asked.

"I'll get us out with my ninja stars." Yuffie said. She threw her ninja stars at the bars but they broke into little pieces. "My ninja stars!" Yuffie sobbed.

"We can't get out! What are we gonna do!" Sora shouted.

"Um, guys? The door is open." Aerith said.

"Aerith! How did you do it?" Sephie asked.

"Simple, Ansem forgot to take the keys that where inside the cell." Aerith said. Everyone falls in anime style.

"Now, let's go save Riku." Sora said.

"Sora." Kairi called.

"What?"

"Shut up." Kairi said.

* * *

TBC so, review! 


	7. Being kicked out

"You won't get away with this!" Riku shouted.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Wait a second. You don't look pregnant."

"Well…"

"You're hiding it under that long sleeve sweat shirt."

"No, it's not true."

"Maybe if I take it off…."

"Wait but I'm only three month!"

"It creeps me out by the way you're saying it."

"Ansem!"

"Sora! How did you get out!"

"Do you have a brain?"

"Well… uh…. Yes."

"That's a no."

"Oh, why do I suddenly feel sick?" Riku asked. He started to feel sick that his face turned green and since Ansem was right beside him, he barfed on his clothes.

"Gaahh! Man! Did you ever heard of a barf bag!"

"….No…" said Riku. But then Yuffie throws one of her ninja stars at the ropes that Riku was finally free. "Yes! I'm free!"

"Now payback time Ansem! Stink Bombarga!" Sora shouted. (Yes another new spell)

"AHH! WORST THAN MINE!" Ansem shouted. Let's make this quick. They with my story telling powers they go back to destiny island. "Oookay, what just happened?" Sora asked.

"I'm going home." Riku said. "I had enough!" Riku said. But then Kairi discovers something. "Uh… Riku, you're a guy, how will you give birth?"

"I thought that you guys where turning me into a girl again."

"Oh, yeah… about that…"

"Oh, no… what!"

"It got damaged again that Cid said that it could take a while to fix it but… since he's in the hospital… no one can fix it."

"Oh, no! Oh, no!... he then starts to go on the fetal position and starts to cry like a baby.

"What a baby, a baby having a baby."

"This is a problem, Sora."

(Two month later (Five month in total))

"Uh… Hi Riku." His dad said.

"I'm doing the last things I wanna do in my life before I die." He said.

"Don't always think that you're gonna die."

"But I'm a freak."

"Yes… I see by the little weight that your hiding under that pillow that you have on you."

"A little?"

"Okay, son. You better stop moping around and stop sitting there doing nothing except watching TV.

"…What's the point?"

"If you don't get out of there, you're grounded."

"Why do I care?"

"I'll take away your PS2."

"I can't play anymore."

"I'll take your I pod."

"I don't listen to music anymore."

"I'LL KICK YOU OUT FROM THE HOUSE!"

"Try." He said while watching T.V. That got Riku's dad so mad. Outside you could see Riku being kicked out from his house and his dad throwing his suitcase but while it was being thrown the suitcase opened and shirts and underwear where flying. "HEY! YOU CAN'T KICK ME OUT!"

"Work on the attitude and come back!" He said and then slammed the door.

"Great! Just great!" Riku said while picking up his clothes. He knows where to go. To Sora's house so he picked up his suitcase and left. Sora was in his house using his playstation while playing Sonic Heroes. "Dang! Stupid camera position! Ahh! I fell again!" Sora said. He heard someone knocking on the door. Sora gets up and opens it. "Riku?"

"My parents kicked me out."

"And you came here for…?"

"To live here for a while till they want me back."

"You're on your own." Sora said. He closed the door.

"NO! SORA PLEASE! DON'T LEAVE A PREGNANT GUY OUT HERE!"

"Well hello, Riku."

"Ansem? What are you doing?"

"I have a camera to take picture of you." He said with an evil tone.

"What pictures?"

"To humiliate you."

"Oh… SORA! LET ME IN!"

"Hey, let me get a picture of you!"

"Okay, I'll give you a chance." Sora said. Riku just gone inside his house and closed the door. Sora closed the curtains from the windows and locked the doors. "Okay, there's no way he can get in."

"What Sora?"

"You gained weight." Sora said.

"Oh, please don't say that." Riku said.

I know that this chapter wasn't humorous but I'll get better soon.


	8. He's a she again

Kairi came to Sora's house because she heard the news that Riku was kicked out from his house so she decided to help him.

"Riku, we need to prepare for the baby." Kairi said

"Prepare? I don't even think I'm gonna prepare. I may give it up for adoption." Riku said.

"No, Riku you wouldn't!" Kairi said.

"I have no choice."

"Well it seems like we need to do C-section." Sora joked.

"C-section!" Riku said in a worried tone.

"Any other way on getting it out?" Sora said.

"No but I need this thing to stop kicking." Riku said.

"Let me feel it." Kairi said.

"Get away from me." Riku said.

"We're going to the mall." Kairi said.

"I can't go out in public!" He said.

"Okay, let's then walk outside." Sora said

"Okay." Then the three of them walked outside while looking at the sunset but then out of nowhere, Ansem appears. "Haha, I finally found you, Riku!" He said while aiming a gun at him.

"Hey, what is-" Before Riku could finish, the laser zapped him and then he turned into a girl again.

"I'M GONNA GET YOU!" Riku shouted.

"That's if you get me!" Ansem teased. He turns around but then falls on the floor by a crab. The crab saw Ansem and then pinches him on the butt. Ansem ran away screaming while having the crab pinched on his butt.

"You okay?" Kairi asked while helping Riku getting up.

"I… turned into a girl again!"

"Look at the bright side. You can have the baby easily." Sora said.

"This thing is kicking too much." She said.

"Mall time."

"NO!"

"Since you're a girl, there's nothing to be embarrassed about." Kairi said.

(Mall)

Kairi and Riku went to the store to buy some baby close. Riku tries to avoid boys that are trying to ask her out on a date but she rejected them. While Kairi checked on something, Riku was alone but then a boy puts his shoulders on her. "Hey, girl, I know that you look pregnant but I notice that there's no ring on your finger. Wanna hang out?"

"Get your hands of me."

"Are you dumping me?"

"Uh… yes."

"You sure you wanna do that?"

"If you don't get your hands of me, I will hurt you."

"With that stomach? Hahahah!" The guy laughed. That got Riku so made that she punched her fist on the guys face knocking him out like a light the blood was coming out from his nose.

"YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME! YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME!"

"Uh… no! I… gotta go!" The guy ran away like a chicken.

"Riku… don't tell me that you did it again."

"Uh… no."

"Sigh, better yet take a brake."

"I'll be in the food court."

"He's always in the food court." Kairi said.

"I'm a she."

"For now." Kairi said. Riku went to the food court and sat on a seat. She was tired because of the baby. "I hope I stay like this for a while." She said. "Maybe after the baby is born." She thought. Then she felt the baby kick again. "Hey, be glad that I'm a girl. I feel less embarrassed than before." She said to herself.

"Are you single?" Another guy asked.

"Yeah, why do you- oh crud." Riku said.

"Wait a second! I know you! You're that girl who punched me!" Jack shouted.

"Nice work, Riku. You bumped into the bully of the school."

"Wait till I let out my anger on you!"

"You wouldn't hurt a pregnant women, would you?"

"I will!"

"Help! Help! He's attacking me and I'm pregnant!" She shouted. Then a bunch of policemen ran to Jack and did a dog pile on him. "You okay, lady?"

"I'm fine, thanks to you guys."

"Why would that man attack you?"

"I punched him a few month ago."

"Ooookay."

TBC. This is not the last time a guy hits on Riku. Things get worst! But first, Review! I'd like to thank Guardian Angel21 for the ideas. If any of you got any ideas, tell me.


	9. Not a girl anymore

"What happened, Riku?" Kairi asked.

"Jack tried to hurt me."

"In your condition?"

"Yes! He wanted to beat the crap out of me! Good thing that the police stopped him."

"Sometimes being a girl is handy."

"Hey, check out that babe." Said a guy.

"Well there's enough Kairi for everyone." Kairi said while doing a pose but then she realized that the guys walked by her.

"We mean the girl that is right beside you."

"Me?" Riku asked.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" A boy asked.

"No."

"How come you're pregnant?" Another boy asked.

"I…"

"Wanna date?" Boy number 3 asked.

"But…"

"Wanna go to the prom?" Boy number 4 asked.

"Ahhh! Too crowded!" Riku cried.

"Let's get out of here." Kairi said.

(Kairi's house)

"These baby clothes are so cute." She said.

"Um, Kairi… I don't feel good." Riku said.

"Are you feeling contractions?"

"No. I just feel a little weird."

"Um… Riku… you must be hungry."

"I guess. I want chocolate." Riku said.

"Okay……"

"Hey, guys." Sora called. He came inside the house with the ray. But then Sora falls on the floor and drops the ray hitting Riku again turning him into a guy.

"SORA!" Riku shouted.

"Uh, oh."

"I'm gonna kill you!" Riku said while grabbing Sora by the neck.

"I'm sorry!" Sora paniced.

"Sorry isn't enough! Prepare to die!"

"I can't believe I'm saying this but… Riku… let him go." Kairi said.

"What?"

"I said let him go."

"Grr, you got lucky this time." He said. He lets go of Sora and sits down on the couch. "This thing won't stop kicking."

"Like a pirana?"

"Yes." He said. "Now what am I gonna do?" He said while sobbing.

"Hey, don't worry. We'll just do C-section."

"What…. Ever." He said. He really didn't want to have an operation because after that, if he takes of his shirt, there will be a scar on his stomach and that would really take out his sexyness. (Not a word)

"You're dad called. He want you back." Sora said.

"Good."

"Well bye Riku."

"Whatever."

"Can you say anything else than whatever?" Kairi asked.

"Whatever."

(two month later (seven in total))

Riku was sleeping again in his own bed. The time is almost close but how will it go? Will CNN want to check him out? Will ripleys believe it or not come? It will be humiliation nation for him. But what if it's worst? The only thing he knows is that the baby is kicking too much. "Why don't you go to sleep?" He asked himself. Actually, he was talking about the child that was inside of him.

"I'm gonna have a kid soon. I look like a giant. That reminds me of that girl from girl scouts."

(Flashback)

"Ding dong" Riku's door rang. He got up and walked to the door and checked it. "Who is it?"

"Would you like to have some girl scout cookies?" She asked.

"Yeah…" He said while opening the door. But then the girl dropped the cookie boxes and ran away screaming. "MOMMY! THERE'S A GUY WHO IS SO FAT!"

"Shield your eyes!" Her mom said.

(End flashback)

"I am never doing something like that again." Riku said.

TBC! The time is close people but first review.


	10. HOSPITAL NOW!

(The ninth month)

Kairi went to Riku's house and then goes to his room seeing him covering himself with a blanket. His room was really dark.

"Riku?" Kairi called.

"What?" Riku asked.

"I brought you cake."

"I don't want cake."

"Not even chocolate?"

"No."

"Do you wanna come out of the bed?"

"No."

"C'mon."

"But I'm a freak."

"Take of the blanket, Riku. I'm sure it isn't that bad."

"… You sure?"

"Of course."

"…sniff… okay." He then takes of his blanket but then Kairi got bug eyed on what she saw.

"(Psycho theme plays) AHHHH! HORRIBLE! HORRIBLE!" She shouted.

"Buuaaaaaa! I am a freak!" He sobbed like a baby.

"Now you're not helping Kairi." Sora said while getting inside his room. Riku covered himself again.

"Well it was your fault!" Kairi said while pointing at Sora.

"My fault? You said to check on the ray!" Sora said while pointing at her.

"Well if you did that we wouldn't be in this mess!"

"Everything is always my fault but you keep on embarrassing Riku." Sora said.

"I'm just teaching him how to be a girl!" Kairi shot back.

"Well he's not a girl anymore! He's a guy with a huge stomach!"

"Riku doesn't even want to hear about that!"

"We have no way to get the baby out."

"I don't think that he can even feel when it's time."

"Don't even mention that!"

"Please shut up." Riku said.

"What?"

"Kairi… what do girls feel when they feel like something wants to come out from them right now?"

"Contrations? Why?" Kairi asked.

"No reason, really.. Sora… I need you to take me to the hospital."

"Why?" Sora asked.

"Because it's time." He said.

"What!"

"Time of the operation. I am not feeling contractions. I just need to me there." Riku said. He just want to get over it.

"ooookay." Sora said. So while Sora prepared his car (Yes he has a car) Kairi was helping Riku going down stairs. Finally, they got into the car. Riku was still covering himself with the bed sheets so he wouldn't be recognized.

"Hey, look mommy! There's the guy with the big belly!"

"Don't look at him." She said. That got Riku pissed. He just sat in the back seat and relaxed. Sora then started to drive to the hospital till there was a big traffic jam. "Oh, no."

"It takes one hour to get there." Riku said in a not happy tone.

"Oh, well at least boys don't feel contractions." Kairi said in a cheerful tone.

"Yeah." Riku said. And ya think that Kairi was right, right? WRONG!

"Can this friggin traffic move before-" Riku was about to finish till he felt this weird pain coming from his stomach.

"You okay?"

"Yeah… I'm fine… I guess." He said. But then he feels the sharp pain again.

"Are… you sure your okay?"

"What makes… you think I'm not?"

"Because your hyperventilating."

"Oh, please Riku. You should have gone to the bathroom when you could." Sora said.

"Well sometimes I wish that it was that I needed to go to the bathroom." He said in a nervous tone. "Could you step on the gas?"

"We're stuck in a traffic jam."

"Go to the side walks."

"I'll get a ticket."

"FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! SORA! GET ME THERE NOW!"

"What's the rush?" Sora asked. That got Riku so pissed that he grabbed Sora by his shirt.

"And ya think that boys don't feel contraction? GET ME TO THE E.R. NOW!"

TBC but review. Please. I need ideas people.


	11. To much pain!

Uhh… just so you'd know…. Ansem wasn't the hobo. And I do not own Jumba from Lilo and Stitch.

* * *

Sora was speeding on the side of the traffic jam that he broke the speed limit. He stepped on the gas. By the looks of it they might make it in the next ten minutes until a police car stopped him.

"License, kid."

"Look sir, there's a guy that is having a baby." Sora said.

"Ha! I've heard those excuses about girls having a baby but guys?"

"Look in the back seat." Sora said while pointing the police to a back seat. He could see Riku sitting while hyperventilating. At the sight, the police's jaw dropped. He never saw anything like that in his life. He looked at Sora again. "uh,….. okay…. Go ahead."

"GAAA!" Riku cried out. Sora continued driving.

"But how can this happen!" Kairi asked.

"When was the due date?"

"….last week."

"Last week!"

"I just couldn't! This stupid thing is just trying to get out!"

"Don't call it a thing!" Kairi said.

"JUST SHUT UP!" He shouted. Kairi then got really worried. I mean, she's right beside a man with a huge stomach. Now she's wondering if she's dreaming. She's getting grossed out that she's gonnna-

"Don't you even dare get grossed out." He said. Finally they got into the hospital. People from the emergency room got him out and took him to the ER. Then Jumba Jukiba from Lilo and Stitch appears.

"What are you?" Sora asked. "A four eyed alien?"

"Yes, I am from the world of 626. You've seen him before."

"Oh, yeah he was part of my summons." Sora said. (Stitch is gonna be in KH2)

"Where is boy that is-" Jumba was about to continue till he heard a screaming that came from the hospital room. "I am an expert scientist and I can help your friend."

"Really?"

"Yes but I warn you that it will… how can I say it? Oh yeah gross you out."

"Um… sir it's gross." Kairi said.

"Okay now let's do operation."

"We need to be there for Riku." Kairi said. So… while the people tried to get the operation ready, Riku was laying down on a bed while Sora was right beside him and Kairi was right beside Riku on the other side. He was holding both of there hands so tight that it hurt. "Ah! Ah! Ah!" Riku shouted.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow." Sora cried in pain.

"Stop squishing!" Kairi complained.

"Operation almost ready. If we don't get the baby out, he'll explode." Jumba said.

"What!" the three screamed at the same time.

"In the next ten seconds. Ten, nine, eight-"

"Oh, I'm gonna miss you guys." Riku cried.

"Zero."

"AHHHHHHHH!" The three shouted.

"Riku… nothing happened." Kairi said.

"What?"

"I was just teasing." Jumba laughed.

"STOP FUCKING TEASING!"

"Wow, careful with that mouth, Riku." Sora said.

"Careful or I'll turn that mouth to a fountain of blood." He shouted.

"The operation is almost ready but… you two love birds will have to wait outside." Jumba said.

"….Okay... wait a second! Love bird!" Sora said. They where waiting outside to room but they could still hear Riku screaming. It was kinda getting annoying. Nothing bad was happening. It wasn't that he was gonna die or anything. "But what's taking the people so long to just get the baby out?"

"They're getting a chain saw." Kairi said.

"A what?" Sora shouted.

"A chain saw."

"FOR RIKU!"

"Are you crazy? They're not gonna do that. It was just for a gigantic cake."

"What for?"

"I don't know."

"This chapter is odd." Sora said. Then they could hear that Riku stopped screaming. They went to his room and looked at him. He was flat on the bed exhausted.

"Um… Riku, I think if the baby should be out, your belly would be small." Sora said.

"….The contractions stopped." He said in a low down.

"Well the good news is that nothing bad is happening to you. I'll the people will do is just take out the baby by C-section." Kairi said.

"Yeah, you won't explode or anything. Since the baby can't come out." Sora said.

"…Gee thanks." He said in a sarcastic tone. "Do I really need to get an operation?"

"You want to keep that in?" Kairi asked.

"No."

"I wonder if it's gonna be a boy or a girl." Kairi asked.

"…I'd rather not think that it's any of them."

"What makes you say that?" Sora asked.

"…I don't know. When are they gonna start?" Riku asked.

"They're doing something first." Kairi said. While they talked the doctors where having a meeting. "Should we call CNN or Repleys believe it or not?"

"Yes. I think we should." One of the doctors said.

"I get the feeling that they're planning something." Sora said.

"This thing is starting to kick again." Riku said.

"Awww, is that so bad." Kairi asked.

"Yes it is!"


	12. Here comes the Men in Black!

I don't own anything nether men in black 1 or 2.

* * *

"Hey, Riku." Sora said. 

"What, Sora?"

"I brought you chocolate moose."

"Uh… thanks." Riku said while taking it.

"Ya feeling better?" Kairi asked.

"….WHY ARE THEY TAKING SO LONG!"

"Don't stress yourself, Riku." Sora said.

"I don't care. I want to get this thing out of me." Riku said.

"Your stomach looks bigger than before." Kairi said.

"Oh, shut up."

"I'll go check on the doctors." Kairi said. She left the room and then walked to another room where the doctors where having a reunion. She heard then talking. "We already called CNN. They're on there way." One of the doctors said. That got Kairi in shock. She was about to warn Sora and Riku till she fell down the floor and she heard her. "She knows! Get her!" One of the doctors shouted. They grabbed Kairi and tied her up and covered her mouth. "MMmmmmffff!" She shouted.

"Calm down, this will be over soon."

"fu fom fof fa fich!" She shouted. Take a guess on what she said a really bad word. It's starts with a b.

"Careful with that mouth."

"Where's Kairi?" Sora asked.

"I don't know." Riku said. Then two men came to the hospital room. They had black suits like if they where secret agents and black glasses. One of the guys where black and the other was white. "Uh… who are you?" Sora asked.

"I'm agent Kay and this is my partner agent Jay. We're from a secret agency called MIB."

"MIB?"

"It means men in black. We fight aliens and kick there asses." Jay said.

"Are you saying that I'm gonna have an alien as my kid?" Riku asked.

"No, but this thing that's happening to you is very surprising. We've been watching you ever since you got pregnant." Kay said.

"What! You where spying on me?" Riku asked.

"Yes but we need to leave now."

"Why?" Sora asked.

"Because those doctors are fakes. They just called CNN." Jay said.

"What! I told them not to! Where's Jumba?" Riku shouted.

"They have him as hostage and so is your red haired friend." Kay said.

"Kairi?"

"Yes, which is why we need to leave." Agent Kay said. Jay looked in the window and saw a crowd of people from outside trying to get in to the hospital. "We better hurry up."

* * *

Sorry if it was short. 


	13. It's aOH NO! CNN!

I'm having writers block but I managed to make this chapter in just thirty minutes. Wow.

Well lets just say that the MIB can't tell you where they are. They managed to avoid the CNN and got to there own hospital. Let's just say that Riku was getting impatient.

"I'M GETTING IMPATIENT!" He shouted. Then a nurse lady got a weird looking shot. "What's that?"

"That's the anesthesia. To make your body go numb." She said. She then put in on his arm and then took it off. "Well good night."

"What do youuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh!" Riku tried to finish but his body went numb. Then he blacked out. And do you ask yourself what happened to Kairi?

"Helloooo! Anyone? Please save me!... I have to go to the bathroom." She said. Then she could hear Jumba singing some kind of alien language that sounded like 99 bottles of pop in the wall.

Two hours later.

He keeps on singing. He might be in his fifties.

Five hours later

He's on his twenties.

Two more hours later.

He finished. Kairi was bored out of her mind since she was tide up in a chair. She almost fell asleep drooling until she woke up. "I'm hungry."

"Oh yeah, I got this weird earth device. It looks like a two sharp metals stuck together." Jumba said. Kairi almost fell in anime style with her chair.

"You…. Mean…. You had the scissors with you… all the time!" She shouted.

"Oh so that's whats it called? I was gonna use it to plan to make another one of my experiments."

"Gimme the scissors!" She said.

(Back to where Riku is)

Riku slowly opened his eyes while waking up and saw a shinny light on the ceiling. "Is this heaven?" But then his vision started to adjust that it was just a light bulb. He slowly sat up from his bed. But this time he had no difficulty getting up. And he discovered the most important thing of all….. he was not fat at all.

"IT WAS A DREAM! THANK GOT IT WAS A DREAM!" He shouted. He was about to get up but then he felt a small pain on his stomach. He looked under his shirt and saw a huge scar on his stomach which really took out his sexyness. "……not…. a….dream?...Then what…..?" Then he saw Sora walking to the hospital room while giggling.

"What? Is there something in my face?"

Sora tries to hold his laughter. "…. No…. but…… there's something that we need to show you." He said. He helped Riku to get up and then walked out of the room.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see." Sora said. Then our of no where a bunch of news reporters appeared with a bunch of video cameras and photo cameras.

"Mr. Johnson! How does it feel to be the first man on the universe to have a kid?" One of them asked.

"How did they get it out?" Reporter #2 asked.

"Does your girlfriend knows about this?" Reporter #3 asked.

"Can I get Mickeys autograph since you know him? Reporter #4 asked.

"Is it a boy or a girl?" Reporter #5 asked.

"Can we see the huge scar in your stomach?" Reporter #6 asked.

"AAHHH! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Riku said while running away with Sora. They then went to a closet and locked the door. "Is this the surprise?" He asked in a angry tone.

"Uhh… no." Sora said. Then they heard something that came from outside the room. They heard a flash and then they heard two people talking. "You did not see a man give birth to a baby, you did not want to get news about him. Your going back and your gonna say bad stuff about reality shows. Got it?" Jay said.

Everyone shook there head. Then they left. "It's okay, it's safe." Jay said. They got out but what they didn't know is that Ansem was hiding on top of the ceiling and took pictures of Riku and recorded him with a video camera. "Yes!"

"Just asking Kay, was it a dream?"

"I wish I could say no but there's something I want you to see." He said. They went to a different room and saw a nurse holding something covered in cloth. It looked like a baby with silver hair and emerald green eyes. It yawned and closed it's eyes and went back to sleep. Riku was in shock!

"Congratulations, you're a father….. and a mother…."

"….No way…. Did that thing came out of me?" Riku asked in shock. The nurse gave him the baby and he hold the baby. "It's a boy, and looks just like his mother – er I mean father." She said.

"……..I think I'm giving this up for adoption." He said.

"No! Don't!" Kairi said while running to him.

"Kairi? Where were you?" Sora asked.

"Hello? I was trapped in the fake hospital! You guys didn't even rescue me!"

"We were in a hurry." Sora said.

"Oh, that's a boy? That's your son? He's so cuuuuuute. Please don't give him up for adoption!" She said.

"Okay, I won't." Riku said.

"Great! I'll help you taking care of it."

"Actually that isn't a bad idea." Riku said. Kairi then looked at Sora.

"Sora, There's something I want to tell you."

"Yeah me too."

"I love you." They both said at the same time. "Oh you love me?" Sora asked.

"And you love me?" Kairi asked. They both shook there heads. "But there's one problem." Sora said. "I'm in love with Namine."

"I'm in love with Roxas." She said.

"What? Why him?"

"I thought you said that you where in love with someone else."

"I lied so I would make you jealous!" Sora said.

"Sorry but Roxas and I are going steady. See ya."

"I'M GONNA KILL MY NOBODY!" Sora shouted.

(Twilight town)

"ROXAS!" Sora shouted while getting his keyblade but he blocks Sora with his oathkeeper and oblivion.

"Don't kill me!" Roxas shouted.

"Ooookay…. What now?" Riku asked. Then the baby started to cry. "What now again?"

* * *

This isn't the last chapter so review! 


	14. Fuzzy baby Spoilers

Oh I feel so happy because my aunt just had a baby girl! She's so cute! Oh yeah, there's spoilers in this chapter about KH2. Some of them are, some of them are not. I can't tell you which.

* * *

One week had past ever since Riku had his new son. But things are starting to get pretty hard for parenthood. At least his mom was helping him out and he's starting to like this little kid. But he mostly sleeped and cried and pooped. He hated to change his diaper. I know, you're asking yourself what he named him. I'm not sure it's pretty.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaahh!"

"Mom, get Jack Jack for me, he's fuzzy again." Riku said.

"Aww whats wong with my wittle grandson?" His mom said to Jack Jack.

"That's annoying."

"Oh don't be a party pooper." She said. "Here, he's your son."

"But I can't breast feed."

"Give him milk by a bottle"

"Sigh, this is driving me nuts." He said while giving milk to the baby. While the baby was sucking from the bottle, Riku turned on the T.V. and changed it to CNN. Since no one had seen him pregnant there is no worries on checking the news. The news started with a new reporter and the new reporter is…. Ansem?

"What?"

"Welcome to CNN. I'm Ansem and this is Axel!"

"Hi."

"We just came with the biggest news. You'll never believe this but we found out that a boy was really pregnant! I'm serious! I even took pictures of it and I have it recorded to a camera." Then Riku saw a bunch of clips of him as a girl and him fat. He even could hear the whole island laughing by the clips. Even Rikus son giggled a little. Riku got so pissed that he ran to CNN and beat the crap out of Ansem and Axel.

"AHHHH! MERCY!MERCY!"

"DIE! DIE!" Riku shouted.

(Later)

Riku came back to his house and found that Jack Jack was laying down on the couch sleeping. He was about to take him back to his crib till something fell on the floor braking. The baby opened his eyes and then started to cry.

"WHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

"Okay, okay! Please stop crying! I fed you! I changed you! I rocked you! Heck I even gave birth to you! What's the problem!" He asked. The baby kept on crying till Riku looked at him in the eyes.

"Huh? Ah that's it! You got a burp." Riku patted the Jack Jack's back and he let out a loud burp. "Wow way the go, boy." He said. The baby giggled.

"Well I guess you're pretty cute." He said. "Hey wanna go to the toy store?" He asked. But the baby fell asleep. "Guess not."

Riku goes outside and he could see Sora chasing Roxas while trying to kill him.

"Get back here! I swear that when I kill you, I'll show you the meaning of pain for taking away Kairi!"

"Don't kill me! I'm almost you!"

"There's one difference! You're my nobody! You where created when I turned into a heartless!"

"The big problem is that I could remember that I was you!"

"Then why did you join the thirteens organization!"

"They said they would help me."

"Why are we saying this! We're giving out spoilers to other people!"

"What about the part when Riku turns to-" Roxas was about to continue but then Sora hits him with a coconut and knocked him out. "There." Sora said.

"I think you killed him." Riku said.

"YOU KILLED ROXAS! Axel shouted.

"You love him! You're gay!" Sora shouted.

"I'M NOT GAY!Roxas is my best friend!"

"You're friends with him, Roxas?" Sora asked.

"Sora you fool! You just knocked him out!" Riku said.

"Oh…." Sora said. "You're not gonna kill me…. Are you?" Sora asked to Axel.

"Oh yeah I do wanna kill you." Axel said while getting his two weapons thingies.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MUTLEY! I MEAN RIKU! DO SOMETHING!"

"I'm busy with the baby." He said. "You sure you're okay?"

"Ahhhh!It burns! Ahhhhh! Ahhhh !I'm burning up!"

"I guess so." Riku said. He looks at his baby. "Okay, first I just had a baby that came… out from my stomach…. I guess the weird stuff is over…… Except that I have to suffer embarrassment in school and I have to take the baby to school because mom is too busy taking care of him….. wish myself luck." He said.

(School day)

"Here goes nothing." Riku said. He entered the school and then a bunch of girls ran to him.

"Where's the cute little baby!"

"Uh here." He said.

"He's so cute!" A girl said.

"What's his name?"

"Uh… Jack Jack." Riku said.

"He's so cute! We don't even care if he came from a guy!" The girls said.

"Ooooookay." He said. "I guess the weird stuff is over. You know what buddy. I think that the weirdness is over." Riku said.

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End of story.

Ya think that's the end of the weirdness? Wrong! I'm gonna make another story called OMG! KAIRI TURNED TO A MUTATED SNAKE PEOPLE! Part of the OMG! Series. It may suck or it may be gaffed but I don't care.


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